The last time I wrote a blog I apologised profusely for not doing it more often yet here I am yet again making up for lost time. I've been supa busy you see... lots and lots of change in Missy's World.
I'll tell you about that another time though... today I want to talk about Friendship.
Friendship to me is as important as a good relationship... good friends make me happy... very happy... and I am lucky to have the friends I do. They are and have been particularly amazing these past few years and I can't thank them enough for being there when I needed them most.
Sometimes we think of friends as being amazing and when the shit hits the fan they're nowhere to be seen... those are the kind of friends we can all do without... because crap friends... well... they're just crap!!!
My friends will get vetted by THE LIST to some extent... I can't have friends that don't have anything in common with me. I've got different friends for different hang-outs. Drinking friends... laughing friends... dicking about friends... heart-to-heart friends... hockey friends... rugby friends... night in friends... night out friends... sometimes we'll mix it up and do different things but rest assured that my friends mean the absolute world to me. An argument or a break-up will cause me a lot of stress and heartache. The problem is... I'm truly the most stubborn cow and particularly argumentative; my standards are just as high with my friends as they would be for a boyfriend. Piss me off and you'll know about it!
I fell out with two very close friends last year... both fall outs really upset me but like any breakup... you get over it... eventually!
Cast your mind back to my 30th Celebrations... not the fun party... no no that was ace... nope go back to my weekend in Manchester... remember how I didn't really tell you about it? Well it's because it was dreadful!
As you'll know... if you followed me long enough... I wasn't looking forward to turning thirty... not one little bit... the year had maxed out the stress-ometer and I was a woman on the edge. It was another milestone I just wasn't ready to conquer and my birthday certainly became one of those disastrous dates...
I'm not sure I've got the strength to re-live the antics; but 5 girls squashed into the ugliest people carrier heading north on a Friday night a month before Christmas and tensions will be running high even before you add in a reluctant birthday girl and two slightly jet-lagged passengers. Needless to say, none of us have fond memories of that weekend and it proves the strength of my friendships with two in particular because I was an absolute nightmare even without my so-called best-friend being an utter cunt and trying to pin all her bad planning and everyone else's disdain on me.
She was one of the friends to go, the so-called Best-Friend. She dumped me (by facebook) within hours of our return on the Sunday evening following a classy doorstep slanging match after the last party-goer collected their car and headed off. We had both realised that weekend that we were worlds apart and both being incredibly stubborn and hurt (for different reasons) we called time on our friendship. I still to this day am shocked how quickly I got over it; at no point since then have I had the urge to pick up the phone and tell her about something. I didn't worry that she was getting married and no longer had a bridesmaid. I didn't worry about not having her in my life anymore because actually looking back we'd been drifting apart long before the fall-out and it was almost a relief her not being around anymore.
Thirty is that milestone that we all set ourselves... a massive target to have made some serious life achievements and make good choices. I had been doing ok... I had the career... the amazin salary... the flash car... the dreamboat boyfriend... gorgeous house... I even had the Laura Ashley wallpaper in my dining room! Life had been good up to 28...
At 28 life changed... I gave up the career... went back to full-time education and got a part-time job in a supermarket. I traded in my lovely expensive company car and bought a tired yellow £700 Fiat Punto Convertible which I named Pretty Beast Coooor... all of a sudden I had lost 10 years and was a teenager all over again... except at 18 I had been way cooler and even then had a better car!
At 29 my life changed even more... my wonderful dreamboat boyfriend (Z-List) and I broke up and with my tail between my legs and huge amounts of University coursework I packed up my life... left my beautiful home and moved to a cottage literally smack-bang in the middle of arse-raping nowhere.
I found out later that he'd been having an affair... it killed me... really it did... I'm still not over the betrayal and fear I never will be. A hurt like that takes years to get over doesn't it???
To add just a little bit more woe to my story; last summer my darling beautiful dog & best-friend Pablo passed away after a very sudden and quick battle with cancer. Losing him hit me even harder than losing Z-List; suddenly I felt I was completely alone. I was carrying this huge heartache around with me from previous and he had been the best thing in my life and kept me going. Everyday I would look forward to coming home from work and having the evening with my boy. He was my life and suddenly he was gone. I had lost my best friend, the bestest friend ever; a dog rivaled by none.
Anyway, you'll know pretty much the in between stuff (read previous blogs if you don't) because today I'm not here to trawl through the history of it all again. Today is about my friends. As I've said before... I literally have the best friends in the whole actual world. Some are new, some are old but they really are absolutely fuckawesome and bettered by none. They make me who I am today, and despite being a bit of a (hilarious) basket case I 'm actually quite pleased with the Missy of today.
So this is just a little thank you to every single one of my friends for keeping me company, making me laugh, smile, dance & getting me pissed over the past 31 & a bit years. You've kept me together, stopped me falling apart when I was teetering on the edge of insanity and despair. I love you all so very much, I can't begin to tell you all how wonderful you are.
To everyone else... value your friendships... realise how special they are and what an impact they have on you and your life. The good ones really will be bloody amazing when you need them if you treat them well :)
