It's always the same...

... the older we get the wiser we get surely? We stop making the same mistakes yah? Apparently not!


I've finally met up with a few chaps now from *dodgy fishing site* and so far so good. There's two that I like... and now... I'm torn... the good & the bad... 'The Bloke'... good... 'or... 'The Pilot'... bad! Why the pilot even gets consideration is baffling me but I'm hooked... and it's bugging me BIG TIME!


He plays a good game... just when I start to question whether he even likes me... he'll drop me a text and start a new game play... Foolishly I'll engage and it starts all over again.


He's affectionate until he remembers he's supposed to be The Cunt and not The Nice Guy... a facade he dons so well. The arrogant drops his guard... you can see he's lovely inside... this is why I like him... he's witty beyond the arrogance and so very very handsome... a smile so cheeky it just makes me giddy. He's the one you chase, knowing full well he'll break your heart...


Ahhh but then there's 'The Bloke'... he brings an instant smile to my face... there is nothing not to like about The Bloke... he's perfect... I like him... I like him a lot... BUT... I don't know what the but is... there's just a but... WHY? 
I love being with him... love talking to him... I'll even go as far as admitting I miss him a bit when he's not around. So why put all of that at risk for The Pilot who I'm pretty sure couldn't care less if he never saw me again? Fear of commitment? Maybe! Fear of falling in love and getting hurt? Probably... Most likely... that's how it usually works right? Someone that didn't deserve you last time fucks it up for the good one that comes next? The ex's final legacy to fuck you up forever! 


So I have a decision to make... The Pilot is away for the next three months... time to give me and The Bloke enough 'getting to know each other' time to decide exactly where this is going... he's an absolute gem... tomorrow I'm introducing him to my best friend JD and her boyfriend... we're going to get drunk watching the Wales v England rugby match... One Welsh... Three English... A GOOD DAY WILL BE HAD BY ALL :)